The School Nurse


I don’t know if you knew this, but when I was a kid I went to the nurse. A lot.

In kindergarten, when I was in the nurse’s office, getting my temperature read, I could not stop coughing!! I tried and tried but couldn’t. I tried to hold it, and finally I let out a BIG COUGH. And spit out the thermometer. On the floor. And it broke into a million pieces, mercury and all.

In first grade, I wanted to go to the nurse because I didn’t feel good. Mrs. P wouldn’t let me go. Then, my friend Stephanie really needed to go to the nurse, so my teacher’s assistant asked me to bring her. Well, Mrs. P saw us on the way, and thought I was trying to sneak out to the nurse! I got in trouble.

In second grade, my friend Ana had a tick in her afro. True story. I had to hold her hand at the nurse, while our nurse combed through to find it, which she did. 45 minutes later.

In fourth grade, I went to the nurse because I was feeling sick. I didn’t have a fever, so she sent me back to class. I threw up all over Claudia’s chair, during a guest speaker presentation. I went home, and was “the new kid who threw up in class” for about a year.

In fifth grade, I went to the nurse just about every day because I was growing out my bangs. My mom would throw my bang-hair up in a pony tail at the front of my head, and it would inevitable be too tight. I would have headaches.

In middle school, I would try to use the nurse’s office to get out of swimming.

In high school, I didn’t have a nurse’s office, so instead I spent a lot of time in the trainer’s office icing my feet, which lack arches.

The first week of college, I had to go to the health office because I had fungus on my ear. It was big and popped on the boat cruise.

My second year, I went to the health office, and they told me I was fine. I ended up in the ER on Halloween with a pinched nerve.

My senior year, I contracted mono, and had a conversation with the nurse practitioner that went like this:

“I have mono.”

“You don’t have a fever.”

“I know, but I have mono.”

“You don’t have swollen lymph nodes. You have no signs of mono.”

“I know, but I have mono.”


“Please, just take my blood and see if it’s mono.”

—Next day—

“Well, Jennie, how do you feel?”


“Well, you should. You have mono.”

And today, at school, I had to go to the school nurse. My co-worker suggested I go, and away I went for my heartburn. It was my third trip in two days for Tums, and I hadn’t been caught by the actual nurse, yet. But today, she was there. She told me I should drink chamomile tea, take some tums, add some milk to my coffee (I ran out two days ago), and maybe work on paying attention to what I am eating. In addition, I probably should take some kind of herbal supplement.

She also told me something that I am enthralled to learn!!

She has a theory. I told her I was always sick. And she said:

“Do you happen to bite your nails?”

“Why, yes, I do.”

“Do you wipe your nose a lot?”

“Well yes. In fact, I have a line on my nose because I do it so much.”

“I have that line too! I never meet people with those lines.”

“Well I do.”

“Well, my husband always touches his nose, and always bites his nails, and he is ALWAYS sick.”

And thus begins Operation: No Nail Biting

We’ll see how we go.


About sorellaaglio

I am 26. I love nature. I love trying new things, and I love children. I love cooking, baking, and sometimes even cleaning. I am an organized mess, and yet manage to eat three meals a day and get eight hours of sleep a night. If you stop by, I'll feed you and make you a mixed CD. Oh, and I am a fan of you.
This entry was posted in Random Thoughts/Little Things to Tell You and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The School Nurse

  1. Corelyn says:

    That was excellent. What a sweet and helpful school nurse!

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